i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
"After wrapping Guardians of the Galaxy I was very homesick and I was coming home to my wife and my son, who at the time was 13 months old. My wife told me ‘Hey, listen there’s a chance he may not recognize you and he may be a little shy’ and so I came in there, and he just sat right up and had this big smile on his face. He started saying ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy!’ and I just started to cry. He saw the tears in my eyes and started doing bits to make me laugh and that just made me cry more."
- Chris Pratt on the best day of his life.
When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.
Jesus I envy that relationship.
this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”.
My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.
i love all of your moms
When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.
That last story is worth reblogging
I swore to myself that I would never reblog anything to do with cats.
I have broken the oath to myself.
I feel like the samurai sword master in Kill Bill.
But this must be done.
gsfahaua mommy chased away the bad kitty dreams with her paw and hugged her baby omfg i’m scREAMING OMFG„
THE KITTEN SAYS MOMMA AFTER IT GETS HUGGED
Only Satan wouldn’t reblog this fucking gif.
Even Satan reblogs this gif
if you had to drop out of a class you are not a failure
if you had to take time off school you are not a failure
if you had to leave school for good you are not a failure
your worth is not determined by academia and this goes doubly so for disabled people and others for whom school is set against them
If you know where this is from, then i am really, really sorry for you.
WHY WOULD YOUI JUST
oh great thank you i almost forgot
"You’re so innocent!"
You’d think so, wouldn’t you…
I thought this was going somewhere deep and meaningful, but I can proudly say that I am not in anyway dissapointed
Phil Sexy Swimsuit Calendar 2015
inspired by Dan and Phil’s latest tweets: (x)
sometimes i wonder what dan was like right before skyping phil for the first time
I’ve seriously been waiting for this gifset for so long.